Life is tough darling, but so are you ....

I'm back!!

It's taken a lot of thought and consideration on whether to continue with this blog. However this is a platform where I can freely express myself and if even one person benefits from this then it's worth it.

As you will know I haven't posted for months. The start of this year didn't exactly go to plan. Back in January my anxiety hit me with full force. Although I thought I was doing fine I really wasn't. I realised that on a day to day basis I was hiding depression and just trying to battle my panic attacks in my own way.

For anyone that tackles mental health issues you'll know that it's not always visible and sometimes you might not even recognise it. Mine started with my anxiety. I started getting panic attacks in certain situations. Big shops, busy places and stressful circumstances would lead to me having an attack. This would consist of me shaking, having heart palpitations, feeling dizzy and struggling to breathe. Whilst having all these symptoms the paranoia of "is this noticeable" and "are people judging me" would kick in. This paranoia and these feelings then led to me starting to avoid situations that would make me feel like this. I stopped going out, started declining invites to places. And whilst most people thought I was being rude that felt better than telling people the truth. I was worried people wouldn't understand. This then led to me becoming very depressed as everything I wanted to do was being stopped by my brain.

I knew I needed help so with the support of family and friends went to the doctors and have been put on anti-depressants and have regular appointments with my therapist. There's such a stigma around anti-depressants and they're seen as such a negative thing. When in fact if they're going to help what's the shame? For anyone debating whether to make that doctors appointment, that is the first step and the bravest step. Admitting you need help takes a lot of courage I know. But I can promise you once you've made that step the amount of relief you receive is amazing.

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I ended up having three months off work whilst I was trying to get better. And if any of my colleagues are reading this I just want to take this opportunity to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU. Each and every one of you have been so supportive whilst I was off and on my return. You're all amazing and I love you all.

My family ..... A massive thank you to you all too as I know it hasn't been the easiest. Thank you for being so understanding and for taking care of me. Couldn't ask for a better family.

Going forward I will continue with this blog and will continue posting. For any of you that are sat at home feeling down or anxious. Make that phone call, book a GP appointment, talk to a friend or family member. Even message me .... My contact details are on the blogs contact page. YOU ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE AND YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!

Much love
Laura XXXX